The Snotlout Dialogues
by PutMoneyInThyPurse
Summary: A bunch of dialogues set at various times in Riders/Defenders/RttE. Conversations that helped Snotlout grow from the bunghole he was in Riders/Defenders into a decent human being. Marked as complete because each one stands alone.
1. Hiccup

Thanks to Thursday26 for the brilliant edit.

This first one is set in the very early days on the Edge.

* * *

A quiet day is always nice.

There's been a lot of work done on the Edge since they settled in, and although there's still a lot left to be done, their huts are established enough that there's time and space to plan the rest of the living and working space. Today's a day off: Hiccup's quietly sketching out a modification to the locking mechanism for the dragon cages, Toothless sprawled boneless in the thick slab of sunlight laid out in a neat oblong on the wooden floor of their living quarters. Hiccup almost wants to push aside the invention and go lick his friend's stomach, or sprawl on top of him in the warm sun and press his ear against his heart and hear him purring, but duty calls. If he can get the mechanism to unlock from the inside, something that can be manipulated by a dragon's claw, then the dragons can…

A familiar shadow falls across the square of sunlight, standing in the doorway obliquely visible to Hiccup's left. Snotlout, Hiccup recognizes – fifteen years of bullying teach you to walk with the sun behind you and recognize people by their shadow. They also teach you to keep doing what you're doing until the other person makes the first move.

But Snotlout's not his bully anymore, and Hiccup's not the victim he once was. Not by a long shot. Still, Hiccup keeps watching the shadow. It's… agitated? It's certainly fidgeting a lot. Toothless burbles, turning slightly, but still relaxed. It can't be anything too serious, then. Snotlout probably thinks Hiccup can't see him, the way he's fidgeting, wringing his hands and what looks like rubbing the back of his neck. Hiccup keeps his head down and his sketching steady, waiting. It wouldn't be the first time his cousin has appeared at his door - here or back on Berk - and then disappeared without saying a word.

But not this time. Eventually, Snotlout huffs out a breath and arranges himself in a carefully casual pose, elbow on the doorframe. "Hiccup," he says, voice tight.

Hiccup adds in a line to the detail of the lock mechanism. Toothless flips from his back to his side – of course he's been observing too, but he follows Hiccup's lead. "Yeah, Snotlout?"

Snotlout's still trying for casual, but his breath is coming hard. He strides forward, fists clenched. "I'll knock your block off if you tell anyone about this."

Hiccup rolls his eyes. Only Snotlout. He looks backward at his cousin. "First of all, you haven't told me what it is yet, and second, what are we, six?"

"I mean it." Snotlout visibly clenches his fists tighter. "This is _private_."

"Oh-kay." Hiccup turns fully on his workbench and gestures to a stool. "Shall I tell Toothless to go?"

Snotlout glances at the dragon out of the corner of his eye. "No, he might help."

If Hiccup wasn't curious before, he is now. "Okay, you have my attention. What's up?"

Snotlout takes a deep breath and purses his lips, letting it out a little at a time with his cheeks puffed up as if he's inflating a sheep's bladder. Hiccup waits. Snotlout perches on the edge of the stool as if it might burn him, fidgeting. Finally, he looks down at the floor and mutters, "You and Toothless have this thing going on."

Toothless' head jerks up, pupils narrowed. He grumbles low in the back of his throat. Hiccup blushes bright red and folds his arms. "Uh... wha-what do you mean?"

Snotlout keeps his eyes fixed on the floor. "_The_ thing. It's like when you do the hand thing." Snotlout shakes his head and gestures vaguely in the air in front of him. "It's where… where you... you don't control the dragon…" He sounds like he's trying very hard to stay mad – at who, or what, Hiccup has no idea. "You don't – you don't control the dragon at all! You're just… uh." Snotlout breathes in deeply, then deflates. "_Nice _to him?"

"Oh." Hiccup laughs nervously, the blush draining from his face. He feels himself relax, leaning back with one elbow on the table. Toothless purrs and settles. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess?"

"But you're supposed to _control_ a dragon!" Snotlout says in a rush.

"Says who?"

Snotlout looks down. "My... my dad," he tells the floorboards.

Hiccup sags. He should have known, really, all things considered. Toothless growls, low and disapproving. Snotlout's still looking down, not meeting their eyes. "So… Spitelout says you have to control your dragon," Hiccup recaps slowly. This is dangerous ground. If anyone says something that might be interpreted as remotely insulting to Snotlout's father, they're risking a punch in the face. So he waits.

"Yeah!" Snotlout's gaze snaps up and he nods eagerly, seeming pleased that Hiccup gets it. "He says they're like mules or yaks—" Toothless growls and Snotlout grimaces. "No offense, Toothless."

Seeing a chance for positive reinforcement, Hiccup pounces on it. "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"The way you just talked to Toothless!" Hiccup goes on, vindicated. He's a little surprised at his own excitement. "With respect."

"I guess so," Snotlout mutters with a grudging glance at Toothless.

"OK, so—" Toothless sits up on his haunches and puffs up his chest. "Not helping, ya vain reptile!" Hiccup darts a look at him, rolling his eyes, then turns back to Snotlout, face serious. "-Would you say you respect Hookfang?"

Snotlout shakes his head rapidly, flushing. "I don't know!"

Toothless slumps, shaking his head and draping a paw over his face. Hiccup can't help an eyeroll. "It's a yes or no question, Snotlout."

"He's an animal!" Snotlout argues.

"We're animals too," Hiccup shoots back, voice even.

"We're human animals," grumbles Snotlout, "that's different."

"Not that different," Hiccup says as Toothless pads up to head-butt him, crooning. Now that _is _different from Snotlout's dragon. Hiccup wraps an arm around his neck.

"My dad says he's like a mule," Snotlout says in a rush.

"And what do you think?"

Snotlout's lips suddenly tighten and he blurts, rapid-fire, "He says I'm like a mule too."

Hiccup will count it as one of his heroic deeds to be sung in Valhalla, a feat far harder than defeating the Red Death: that, on this day in Midgard, he, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, did not make any of the obvious jokes supporting Spitelout's parallel. He swallows every smart-alec comeback, and instead says evenly, "Sounds like your dad thinks you have stubbornness issues."

"Nah, he thinks I need to be whipped into shape," Snotlout mutters. The corner of his mouth pulls up, like he's trying for a smile, but it comes out more like a grimace. There's a completely unexpected pang in Hiccup's chest and he feels his fist clench at his side. Next to him, under his other arm, Toothless stills.

For a long moment, Snotlout freezes, like he can't believe that came out of his mouth. Then his hand darts out to grab Hiccup's collar. "And if you ever tell anyone I said that, so help me, pipsqueak-!"

Toothless screeches a warning, standing on his hind legs and spreading his wings. Hiccup hurriedly waves him off as Snotlout shrinks back slightly.

Hiccup holds up both hands for peace, but he finds his heart filling with a sort of wry amusement. It finds its way into his face in a smile. Hiccup keeps his hands up until Snotlout releases him. Finally, Snotlout settles back into his stool with his hands in his lap.

"'Pipsqueak,' huh," Hiccup says, trying to coax his wry smile into something more genuine. "Haven't heard that one in a while. Brings back memories." That was a mistake; he was trying to lighten the mood, but it falls flat. He feels his face harden. "Not the best memories." Hiccup grimaces, then smoothes out his face with visible effort. "You know, Snotlout, sometimes it isn't the best idea to try to control people." There's a faint chuff from Toothless. "Or dragons."

Snotlout keeps his head up for as long as he can; then he slumps. His shoulders droop and he lowers his head, looking down at his lap. Slowly, he shakes his head, his frown turning perplexed. "But then how do you keep them in line?"

"You have to work _with_ them." Toothless butts Hiccup gently and Hiccup brings his face close to his snout with a soft smile. "You respect him, he respects you," he murmurs, Toothless nodding along as they rub their cheeks together. Then he straightens to face Snotlout again. "You're _partners_. You make decisions _together_."

Snotlout rubs the back of his neck. "That doesn't make any sense." His words are harsh, but they carry no weight, like he doesn't believe what he's saying.

"Not if you've spent your whole life," Hiccup's voice is very soft, "either being controlled or trying to control someone else." He's not patronizing, and there's no trace of mockery in his tone. Snotlout has raised his eyes, though his head is still down, and is listening to Hiccup intently. The moment feels fragile, and Hiccup keeps his voice down to a whisper, afraid it will shatter. "It's hard at first. Change is hard. It's the hardest thing."

Toothless quarks and rolls his eyes. Hiccup meets his eyes, shakes his head and grins ruefully. "I wish I had words of wisdom. 'Change is hard', what kind of wisdom is that?" he adds, with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Snotlout waves a hand, still grimacing like someone is twisting his arm. "And that's another thing. You - you can laugh at yourself!"

Hiccup's shoulders pull up in an awkward shrug. "Well, you gotta admit I do dumb things sometimes," he grins.

"If you laugh at yourself," Snotlout recites flatly, "you lose people's respect."

"That's another one of your dad's things, isn't it?"

Snotlout bristles, but his voice is strained. "Don't you say a word about my dad!" he protests thinly. He stands and takes a step toward Hiccup, clearly intending to loom over him the way he did when they were kids.

Without fanfare, Hiccup gets to his feet too. Hiccup is almost a head taller now, and instead of being intimidating, Snotlout is left craning his neck to stare up at him. He swallows, mortified. "You… I…"

Hiccup steps back so he isn't looming, and softens his voice. "Snotlout." He can placate a Whispering Death; Snotlout is child's play. "No-one's attacking your dad. But he wants you to be your own man, someday, right?"

Snotlout stills. Slowly, he deflates. He scrapes a toe on the floorboards, looking down. "Yeah, I... I guess."

"Your dad's a great man. For his time." Toothless starts purring softly, Hiccup guesses as a soothing gesture for Snotlout. "We live in a different world now. It's not all dragon raids or kill and be killed anymore." Hiccup chooses his words carefully, sensing the fragility of this moment, intuiting that this moment will influence Snotlout for years to come. "He's not a bad person. But you don't have to be him. He thinks like that, because that's how he was raised. But you don't have to. You can respect and admire your dad without being a copy of him." Toothless burbles approvingly. "_People are different_, Snotlout, and that's okay. It's okay not to follow in his footsteps." Hiccup feels his voice drop to an urgent whisper. "It's okay to be your own man."

If Snotlout wasn't standing between Hiccup and the door, silhouetted in the square of light, Hiccup would have missed the faint tremor that runs through him. For a long time, there's nothing but the sound of Toothless purring. Finally, Snotlout moves. His hand rises to his cheek and flicks something away. "If you tell anyone about this..."

"You'll knock my block off," Hiccup sighs, a friendly smile on his face. "I remember."

Snotlout takes a step back, then another. Hiccup steps back as well, then lowers himself to sit at his workbench. He takes his time turning around, getting his legs tucked under the table and picking up his half-finished schematic. Gradually, Toothless settles next to him, half-on, half-off the seat, looking over his shoulder at his drawing. Hiccup's absorbed enough that he startles as he hears a mumbled "Thanks" from his cousin.

By the time he looks up, Snotlout is gone.


	2. Astrid

"Astrid?"

Astrid looks up from scrubbing Stormfly's scales into the dark outside the stable. There doesn't seem to be anyone out there, but... "Snotlout?"

The horn of his helmet peeks round the side of the stable wall, then the man himself comes into view. Well. Big boy, anyway. "AstridcanItalktoyou?"

"Sure." She responds without thinking, surprised to find that she doesn't resent this hesitant and much more human Snotlout. Stormfly tilts her head, chirping a welcome. Astrid hasn't gotten as far as thinking since when does Stormfly actively welcome Snotlout before Snotlout produces a chicken leg, offering it to the dragon. Stormfly eagerly snaps it up and purrs. Astrid stares. That was… nice of you," she says. "What's with you? You're never nice. Do you want something?"

"No," he mutters shortly. "Uh..." His fingers play with each other nervously. Oh, damn. She's missed the mark badly - she was just trying to lighten things up, but she's hurt his feelings instead. Frustration flares. If he'd just be predictable…

Astrid catches herself. She's been trying to be more like Hiccup, more considerate. Now is as good a time as any to start. "Here." She tosses Snotlout a spare brush. It hits his chest, but he recovers and manages to fumble it out of the air. "Nice reflexes." Normally Astrid would have never thought to give Snotlout a compliment (he'd spend the entire week bragging) but he looks so lost that she just wants to make him feel better. Which is a sentiment she would never have imagined feeling, until she saw him mourning and cradling his dragon in what he thought were Hookfang's last moments. That incident made her feel that maybe, just maybe, there might be more to Snotlout than just a loudmouthed braggart.

"Thanks," he says, forlorn, looking down at the brush in his hands. If the fact that the bragging isn't forthcoming hasn't already told her, the way he looks now is a clear indication that something is wrong.

"Brush her legs," she orders, gesturing. Being shorter, he'll have less trouble than she does. Snotlout gratefully bends to his task. Astrid watches him for a minute, glad her hunch has panned out: sometimes, when you're confused, it helps to have someone tell you what to do, just give you a simple task to focus on. By the way Stormfly is purring up a storm, she's really enjoying it. In fact… Stormfly never purrs that powerfully when Astrid brushes her legs... "You like that, huh?" Astrid smiles up at Stormfly. "Should we get him to do it all the time? What do you think?"

For answer, Stormfly bends her head and gives Snotlout a lick. Lost in his task, Snotlout absently reaches up to skritch her chin. She purrs louder and rubs her jaw over the top of his head, a scent-marking gesture. He looks up at her and smiles - and Astrid's breath catches. His smile is so open. She'd expect to see it on Hiccup, or Fishlegs, but never on Snotlout.

Astrid manages to look away quickly before he catches her staring and spooks. She brushes some more, and waits till Stormfly's head is vertical again before speaking. "So. What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Nothing, really." He bends to brush Stormfly's claws. "Hey, there's a stone stuck in here." He looks up at Stormfly. "Doesn't that hurt when you walk?"

Stormfly tilts her head and croons, eyes widening as if to say Well, now that you mention it...

Astrid looks from Stormfly's face to Snotlout. "Where?" She crouches.

"Here." He lifts Stormfly's foot, and sure enough, there's a little pebble wedged deep in the indentation where flesh meets claw.

"Oh, Stormfly," Astrid meets her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? How did I miss that?"

"Hey, don't feel bad, they're really easy to miss. Hookfang's always getting them, and they don't always show. Most of the time he can get them out without any help. But sometimes one will get stuck in a really narrow place - like this one here - and the claws on your wings aren't sharp enough to get them out." Just in time, Astrid bites back a teasing comment on the "your wings." That wouldn't have gone down well. "Do you have a sharp dagger? The smaller the better."

"You're asking me to give you a weapon?"

Snotlout looks up at Astrid, a spark in his eyes that's somehow different from his regular bullying self. "If you want this thing out, you need a sharp dagger. Do you have one, or shall I go get one from my house?"

She holds up her hands. "Touchy! I was kidding. Here…" The weapons rack is conveniently right there in the stable, and she plucks a dagger from it and tosses it to him without thinking. Oh no, she thinks as it's airborne, the memory of him fumbling the brush still fresh in her mind. I'm going to put his eye out or something!

But Snotlout plucks the weapon out of the air so efficiently that she blinks, the handle nestling in his palm like he just lifted it off the rack. She only knows two or three people on the entire island who can do that without injury. She's been training Hiccup to do it, but it's still hit-and-miss. Astrid doesn't even have time to dwell on it, because Snotlout's lifting Stormfly's foot already. Stormfly has her head tilted, watching with one eye at close range. "You just pull the skin as tight as you can…" Snotlout slips the dagger between claw and stone, and flicks. The pebble pops out, clattering somewhere into the depths of the stable. Stormfly trills and licks the place, then licks Snotlout. "Careful!" He hands the dagger back to Astrid as Stormfly shows her gratitude. Then, to Astrid's astonishment, he stands, gives Stormfly a final pat, and heads for the exit. "Okay, good night…"  
"Get back here!"

Snotlout freezes in the doorway. "You said you had something to tell me, Jorgenson," Astrid says firmly. "And now I owe you one, so you better just tell me. I'm not gonna walk around in your debt!"

Too late, she realizes she's opened herself up to a world of cheesy pickup lines. Her own fault for not choosing her words better.

The silence stretches. Snotlout's still standing in the doorway, not a pickup line in sight. Astrid almost wants to ask him if he's okay, but it doesn't feel right. So she waits.

Astrid doesn't know how long they'd have stood there if Stormfly hadn't let out a sound somewhere between a croon and a chirp. It must have had some effect, because Snotlout's shoulders slump all at once. He turns, his face in shadow. "Well. It wasn't anything much. I just wanted to ask you something."

"Sure." Astrid's careful to keep her voice open and neutral.

"Okay." Snotlout huffs out a breath. "Okay. Just uh... You know what you said before? About...caring?"

"Or dust in your eyes," she grins, trying to lighten the mood. Snotlout flinches and Astrid winces. Boy, was that a bad joke. "Here," she tries for a recovery, holding out the brush to him. "I think Stormfly likes the attention." Stormfly obliges by chirping, and Astrid keeps a smile on her face as Snotlout hesitantly steps forward and palms the brush, for all the world like he might bolt.

Astrid busies herself with taking care of Stormfly's wing, letting Snotlout settle by her feet and begin brushing again. Stormfly starts to purr. "You like him more than me, huh?" Astrid grins. But her chest tightens when Snotlout lets out a sound almost of pain. Okay, enough with the dumb jokes. "You said," she softens her tone, "caring. When I said to you about caring."

"Yeah, um." Snotlout keeps his head down, and runs the brush over Stormfly's upper leg. Stormfly purrs. "About that."

Astrid waits. Snotlout looks around him, as if making sure they weren't going to be overheard. "Is it - is it like a regular thing to keep…" his voice drops to a whisper, "...to keep doing that?"

"Crying? Or caring? It depends. It's worse if you've just been through something really bad." Astrid tries to keep her voice businesslike and neutral, but it's hard. She can't help remembering Hookfang's grey pallor, how Snotlout's voice broke when he thought his dragon - probably the closest person in the world to him - was dying. She looks hard at him, really seeing for the first time how he's hunched over in misery, how broken his posture is. Now she knows what he's asking, even if he can't express it: "Do you mean, is it going to feel this bad forever?"

"Yeah." Snotlout sounds miserable. "I keep looking at Hookfang and remembering- I think of how weak he was… I keep feeling scared..." His slumped shoulders suddenly stiffen, as though his confession has attracted the predatory attention of some unseen threat. He raises his face to her, agonized. "Don't laugh at me!"

Stormfly croons and bends to buss the top of Snotlout's head. Astrid dumps the brush in the bucket and kneels. Snotlout's head is bent so low she can only see his hair. "I wouldn't ever laugh at you for that." She lays a hand on his arm. "You've never been really worried about losing someone you love, have you?" It's usually enviable among Vikings, and almost unheard-of, to reach Snotlout's age without fearing for a loved one's life. Astrid wants to feel jealous, wants to dismiss Snotlout's unease as the inexperience of a spoilt and sheltered child. But all she can see is a boy-man who keeps his heart locked in a dragon-proof cage.

Snotlout raises his head just enough to look at her out of the corner of his eye. "I don't think I ever... did... that."

"Fear?"

"No… the other thing."

"Love?"

"Yeah, that. Well, you know, I mean, my parents, sure, but…" He trails off. "Not really, not… you know."

He can't even say the word, Astrid realizes with a small pulse of shock."You do now," she says softly. "Snotlout," she pats his arm, "it won't hurt like this forever. It does hurt right after something bad happens. And you do get bad dreams, and you might get upset sometimes, and find yourself crying for no reason..."

"Yes!" Snotlout finally looks up, eyes bright and full of relief. "That's it, for no reason!" he practically yells. "There's no reason I should... there's no reason to do that! Why do I do it?!"

Astrid's chest hurts. "Because you care," she whispers.

Snotlout shakes his head. "It's no fun."

Astrid sighs. "No." She gives Stormfly's side a pat and slides to the stable floor, sitting on her knees. How can she explain it to someone to whom the concept is so foreign? Who's scared of it? The only way out is through. She wraps a hand round Stormfly's leg. Stormfly chirps and nuzzles her. Encouraged, she starts. "Snotlout, when my Uncle Finn died, I spent six months with my arms and legs numb. It was like my chest was packed in ice. I felt like I'd never breathe again." Stormfly gives her another nuzzle. It helps, but only barely. "It - it took me another year to believe the sun would shine." Astrid hates talking about this, laying herself open like this. Fighting her instinct to hide her face - some role model she'd be - Astrid meets his eyes. "Does that mean I should never have loved him?"

Snotlout's hands curl into fists and he actually groans. "When I think of that happening to Hookfang," he whispers, looking down at his hands, "I can't breathe." One hand unclenches and crawls up to his chest, then fists over his heart, like maybe he could stop the hurt just by holding it.

"Mmhmm." Astrid nods, her mouth tight with sympathy. She doesn't know what to say to Snotlout. It seems like he gets it, what it means to love someone.

"This is caring?"

"Yes," she says softly, almost crooning. "Only you can decide if it's worth it."

He sets his jaw petulantly. "What if it isn't?!"

"Then you can tell Hookfang goodbye. Find him another rider," Astrid can't resist twisting the knife, "who might overwork him again, or keep him hungry, or beat him..."

Snotlout shrinks back, appalled. "You're making my chest hurt!"

Stormfly squawks as if to say Look what you did, but with how hard it is to get through to Snotlout, Astrid feels justified in being just a little smug. She tilts her head and waits.

"So basically," Snotlout says, "what you're saying is that caring," he says it like "eel pox," makes your chest hurt and makes your eyes water and gives you, uh," he looks down and mutters, "...b-bad dreams."

There's a roar outside the stables and the distinctive glow of a Monstrous Nightmare flaring up. "Looks like someone misses you," smiles Astrid.

Stormfly squawks a dragon greeting and gets a Nightmare bellow in return. She nods and purrs softly. Meanwhile, Snotlout has raised his head and is looking over to where the sound came from, almost wistfully. He swallows deeply and goes on as if Astrid hasn't spoken. "So... you... you gotta put up with it anyway for someone you can't live without?"

Astrid smiles and shrugs. "That's about the size of it."

Snotlout mutters something inaudible as he scrambles to his feet. "Coming, Hookfang!"

"Oh, and Snotlout?"

He turns at the door, silhouetted in his friend's light. "Yeah?"

Astrid's smile becomes a grin. "It's not all bad."

He mutters something that sounds like "Maybe" before he disappears.


End file.
